Update + Possible Dream Series

Hello,

I should be posting about the game I created over the course of three weeks in June, but that’s not what this is about. The game is working & complete-sh (to me its just a proof of concept demo, it doesn’t have everything I wanted to do), I just haven’t bothered to do anything with it since finishing last semester. Maybe I’ll post about this later.

Evidence of game.

I’ve just returned to polytechnic after a three week break of doing nothing… initially.

I can’t remember how this started but, over a week ago I emailed a dream to my flatmates. I kinda treated it as a creative writing exercise. They seemed to really like it so I sent them another one. Then another one. I think the first couple dreams I shared was added to a zine.

The same guy mentioned there might be an audience for this & I realized – I have about seven years worth of material, with more to come in the future. Maybe I could turn this into a series of some kind.

Animation – Gust Cat

Hello, got my animation done.

This was done over the course of about 3-4 weeks for my animation course. Created using Photoshop, & features a combination of rotoscoping (of myself), key frame, & frame-by-frame drawn animation.

This is my first animation project using a drawing tablet &, despite not having all the scenes I wanted, I’m happy with how this turned out. Unfortunately I don’t have my workbook so I can’t show my process for this (though I could just edit it into this post later if I can be bothered… hmm).

I can’t remember where the sounds came from, only that they’re free. If given more time I would have liked to come up with my own SFX, but I left audio until the hand-in day (I also would have liked to hand-draw everything frame-by-frame to really give this a more dreamy feel). Maybe I’ll do a redux version later.

Anyway, here’s a dream I had:

This was quite fun to do over my break period (even if frame-by-frame drawing does cause my hand to cramp). Maybe I’ll create more animations based on my dreams.

Now to disappear for about 10 weeks again.

Farewell.

The Ward Storyboard

Hello,

One of my first assignments was to create a storyboard for a story that follows a typical story structure. Unsure of what to do, I ended up basing it on a psychological game idea I’ve been workshopping for the last few years.

The story is an allegorical take on Carl Jung’s Individuation process, & is based on my own experiences in dealing with negativity & “finding my true self”. It also includes some ideas by Foucault as the story is about imprisonment.

This is a story about a Ward, who awakes encased in heavy plate armour.

They don’t remember who they are, only that they are a prisoner of this vast desolate, yet eerily familiar, structure called the Panopticon. They know the Warden sentenced them here for a good reason, but they don’t remember why. Thus the Ward sets out to find the Warden at their central tower to learn about the nature of their sentence.

On the way to the tower, the Ward is hunted by a mass of shadows. They are too slow to escape & become engulfed by the shadows.

Screaming in darkness, the Ward begins to learn. They see visions of a world before the Panopticon. They see the Warden, & the tyranny they wrought. As they learn, pieces of the Ward’s armour begin to shatter. When the shadows dissipate, the Ward is left unharmed with only their mask remaining.

They continue their journey until they finally reach the tower.

Inside, the Ward stands before a lone mirror inscribed “The Warden”. They gaze upon their own reflection & realize who they were.

The Ward condemns them self, saying they deserve to be imprisoned; yet the Ward lifts their hands & removes their mask. The Mask further condemns the Ward as they are being discarded.

The story ends with the Ward walking away to heal the world.

So Far So Good

Hello, I’m finally on break from design school for two weeks. Now for an update.

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I would have written this post sooner except on Sunday my window, goaded by wind gusts, decided to fall out & shatter onto the street. Now my window is cardboarded up & I’m waiting for it to be replaced; no idea when.

But I digress – this post is actually about how making friends became absurdly excruciating.

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Returning to polytech has been a godsend to me. I am very much enjoying communication design & feel like I’ve found my element:

• I storyboarded an idea I had floating around for a long time (I’ll make a post about this later).
• Been learning about various design movements, like Art Nouveau & Russian Constructivism.
• Been introduced to drawing tablets & currently have an animation assignment I’ll do over the next two weeks based on an old dream (again, this will be its own post).
• I’ve been (more) properly introduced to photography. Didn’t realize how much there was to portraits & how experimental you can be (got really into collage & cut-outs).

Perhaps the most significant aspect is that I seem to actually be making friends. I realize that probably sounds banal but, given my reclusive nature & the way my life has been going, its just… very nice to have this happen, even though I feel my behaviour just made things more difficult.

Before Study

Hello, I just felt like doing a random update since my course is starting next week:

• Still chipping away at a scanned image of my mythic bird design. The scanner doesn’t do a great job of digitizing my sketches, & I thought setting it to max contrast would be enough to give me a cleanish sketch, but instead I was left with fuzzy outlines. Since then I’ve been meticulously cleaning the lines so I can colour it. I guess this is why artists ink their lines first.

• Passed my car onto my brother so he may regularly get his daughter to childcare. I seem to be doing fine with non-car life so far.

• I’ve actually been using Twine to do some writing. I’ve even been plotting out some of my game ideas in it, since you can have stories function like games. I don’t have anything worth releasing at this time & I won’t promise that I will in the future. At present, this is just something for myself.

• I also felt like updating my About page.

Saharasha Scan WIP

Otherwise not much else. I’ve honestly been struggling to keep myself occupied until now, but doing art has helped. I’m just waiting for my course to start but I’m also feeling trepidation.

When I studied IT I didn’t try to make friends & I was in a more negative place about myself. I’ve improved since then but I wonder if history will repeat itself. Admittedly, one of the reasons for returning to study was so I could figure out where I want to go & the kind of people I belong with. If its just the same results again I’m not sure how I’d handle it now that I’m flatting (I at least had my parents last time). I guess I’m used to it at this point in life, but a change would be nice.

I’ll see how next week goes. I’m not sure how posting will go from now on, but if this course is as intensive as IT was you may not hear from me in a long while. Future posts will most likely be about whatever projects I do for design school.

Farewell.

Design: Saharasha Part 2

Hello

I think I have my final design for the bird. I ended up basing it heavily on the Blue Jay. As the etymology behind the made-up name refers to a “young gazelle”, I wanted to integrate gazelle features into the bird as well. I even tried to combine hooves & talons, though I’m dubious the feet bear any resemblance to hooves.

Aside from drawing both views crooked, I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. I had real trouble trying to not smudge the drawings (not sure if I should blame my left hand or the habit of writing left to right for this).

Front View

Top View

Random Art: Yeti + Fanfic

Hello

Whilst watching a flatmate play Spelunky, I spontaneously decided to spend 5 minutes writing a mini fanfic about the yetis in the game, followed by a bit of fan art.

Yeti (I have a scanner now, no more shadowy sketches!)

Actually, I’m not sure if I can regard this as ‘fan’ anything since I barely play the game. I can see the appeal of Spelunky & can see myself enjoying it, but it is a skill-based game & I haven’t felt much drive to get good at it (I rarely play side-scrollers). Besides, I already have my own games that serve a similar role (Diablo 1 for randomization & classic Doom for skill-based mastery) & I’ve seen so much of this game that there’s little to discover.

Doesn’t stop me from liking the yeti’s though.

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I’ve been returning to the idea of doing fiction writing, going so far as installing Twine so I can create my own interactive fiction. As expected, my old writing problems resurfaced, thoughts like “how do I make this good/epic/high quality writing?”, “what is my plan for the plot/story/themes?”, “what are my characters like & how would they interact?”, “I’ve never been a competent/experienced fiction writer”, “is there much point in doing this?”, & more that just leave me paralyzed & retreating to Youtube.

A different flatmate suggested I try free associative writing just to get myself writing anything. Forget structure, grammar, or plot, just write literally anything that comes to mind. I must say its kinda worked. It’s made me care less about what I’m writing & has allowed me to find amusement in the writing process, seeing the random crap I belt out.

As an example of what this lead to, read below:

Design: Saharasha Part 1

Hello, I’ve started a new design project.

Whilst the aim of this project is to create a new design for a mythic bird, its so far devolved into doodling random living birds. This is part of the research into coming up with a design I hope would be fairly unique; believable yet intangible (if that even makes sense). Unfortunately I’m going at a snails pace, averaging one doodle every business day. It’s only now that I’ve finished research & will move onto the concept/development portion of the process.

What is Saharasha? Well, some time in late December I… had a dream? More accurately I awoke & could only remember the flashing image of a great bird (like a Roc) with brown feathers & light blue highlights. A name like “Saharasha” stuck in mind. I’m not sure why, but it inspired an idea for a new mythic creature for me; a sort of Phoenix born not from ashes but the waking from a dream.

Random Art: Nietzsche

Hello, more filler sketches.

A friend brought up an idea of doing a philosophical visual novel & he asked me to draw the main character Nietzsche. One buzzy night whilst doodling I complied.

The idea was to try a cartoonish or anime-style depiction of the philosopher. At first I tried to draw him from memory, resulting in what my friend called “Megaman Nietzsche”.  He then showed me a photo & I tried again.

Bottom-left: “Megaman” Nietzsche. Top-right: Crude Nietzsche.

Sometimes you just got to laugh at your own work…

I tried again later in a sober state & did a better job. He also asked me to do a chibi version so…

Left: Anime Nietzsche. Right: Chibi Nietzsche

I like to think Chibi Nietzsche has been gazing into the abyss too long.

Farewell.

Random Art: Space Highway + Dogs

Hello

Just sharing some rough sketches I made during the Christmas period. Apologies if these are hard to distinguish, I drew these during the drive to & from Te Anau so I had to deal with car motions. Cars aren’t the best environment for drawing:

To keep my mind occupied on long drives, I’ve imagined myself flying through an astral highway… yeah it’s weird.

 

Rough sketches of my parent’s dogs.

Cassie, Kenny, & Calder.

Farewell & Happy New Year