Before Study

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Hello, I just felt like doing a random update since my course is starting next week:

  • Still chipping away at a scanned image of my mythic bird design. The scanner doesn’t do a great job of digitizing my sketches, & I thought setting it to max contrast would be enough to give me a cleanish sketch, but instead I was left with fuzzy outlines. Since then I’ve been meticulously cleaning the lines so I can colour it. I guess this is why artists ink their lines first.
  • Passed my car onto my brother so he may regularly get his daughter to childcare. I seem to be doing fine with non-car life so far.
  • I’ve actually been using Twine to do some writing. I’ve even been plotting out some of my game ideas in it, since you can have stories function like games. I don’t have anything worth releasing at this time & I won’t promise that I will in the future. At present, this is just something for myself.
  • I also felt like updating my About page.
Saharasha WIP

Saharasha Scan WIP

Otherwise not much else. I’ve honestly been struggling to keep myself occupied until now, but doing art has helped. I’m just waiting for my course to start but I’m also feeling trepidation.

When I studied IT I didn’t try to make friends & I was in a more negative place about myself. I’ve improved since then but I wonder if history will repeat itself. Admittedly, one of the reasons for returning to study was so I could figure out where I want to go & the kind of people I belong with. If its just the same results again I’m not sure how I’d handle it now that I’m flatting (I at least had my parents last time). I guess I’m used to it at this point in life, but a change would be nice.

I’ll see how next week goes. I’m not sure how posting will go from now on, but if this course is as intensive as IT was you may not hear from me in a long while. Future posts will most likely be about whatever projects I do for design school.

Farewell.

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Another Video + Update

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Hello, got another video to share. This is a talk about the modern cultural role of games & how they could be done better. It voices many of the concerns I’ve been having about games today & made me realize who the audience of games may actually be (it also made me realize some games could be a sort of modern ‘drop-in centre’ for fringe elements of society). It is another 30 minute video (I like long videos) so set aside time if you want to watch it.


This also gives me the excuse to give a quick update (wow its been months since I did this): Continue reading

Overdue Update – Still Alive

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Hello again blog (& people who still check in), sorry I forgot about you for a while.

Part of the reason for my absence is because I got sick of just writing life update posts yet I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted to write, nor did I feel the motivation to write at all. I-um… hmm… well, this next bit is going to be weird.


I had a moment when writing this where I formed the sentence below & actually looked at the posts I linked:

I’ve also been feeling bad about… things I’ve already written about before: unemployment woes, social issues, worries about my future, blah blah recurring personal issues; so I felt no need to repeat myself.

Let me just toot my own horn for a bit – I think I just realized the value of my own posts (well, except for ones like ‘unemployment woes’, that’s just me complaining). Reading the later two has brought an earlier, better, mindset back. They reminded me of some important points for myself & may have re-centred me a bit. Now that I think about it, I’m actually kinda proud of those posts since they feel like the clearest version of my own thoughts.

Except now we have a problem – this segment has completely derailed this post… Try to bare in mind the rest of this short post was written before this part.

Awkward meta self indulgent segment aside.


Since my last update in February:

  • March = despair resembling a post from mid 2015. Only thing worth noting is I received my first contract payment – yay!
  • April – getting better (I think), though still feeling troubled. For some reason the only points I can remember are:
    • I’ve actually been getting some solid weeks of work doing ‘business intelligence reporting’.
    • On the last week of April I had a flatmate attempt suicide. He’s fine now & doesn’t seem to be considering it again any time soon though the experience left me uneasy, particularly with how nonchalant everyone involved has been.
    • Whilst I have no intention of committing suicide (I think), I have been wondering – what am I living for?

Yeah, I’ve been thinking about death & existence a lot lately. I’ve been writing pieces of another post about this topic as I wrote this one, so there may be a post about that soon… whenever that is. I feel like I need to get back into writing.

Anyway, this is just me saying I’m still alive but I’m not sure why.


😐

What’s happening with this post?

This may be the weirdest thing I’ve ever written.

February Life Update – New Adventures

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Hello, this month has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster. More than once I’ve just had to stop because I wanted to cry, but there have also been some unusually fun times. I guess you’d call it cathartic.

Also, side note, why has an old post of mine been getting views from a lot of random people this weekend? Not complaining, I just find it kinda weird that people are suddenly interested in a post from late 2014 (wow, this blog has been going for that long?).

Anyway, the main things this month:

  • I’ve been getting myself setup as a freelance IT Sole-Trader, & thinking about how to make it viable has left me feeling a bit overwhelmed.
  • I went on an impromptu road trip with some friends to Twizel overnight. It was nice to see central Canterbury & help a friend move some stuff back home.
  • Been looking at the writing/lore aspect of my storytelling game prototype Sojourn.

If you’re wondering what a Sole-Trader is, it’s essentially a one person business. If you’re wondering what I’m offering here’s my draft business card:

XML Business Card

Yes, I’m intending on this being my business card (I wish I could say this was an original idea). I tried to do this in C# but I could see several problems with this approach.

Fortunately there isn’t much I need to legally do before I can begin work (I think I’ve got everything setup with my accountant now), but I’ve found myself having to wait regardless. Continue reading

December/January Life Update – Discomfort

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Hello to you & 2017, it’s been a while.

This was going to be both a life update & a reflection of 2016, but the reflection kept growing & growing. Dividing this into three posts seems more humane, which I’ll space out over the next few days. My other excuse for the absence is that I’ve become more lazy & distracted since the Christmas & New Years period.

So, the main things that have happened:

  • My part-time contract ended on December 23rd & I’ve received news my boss’ higher ups will not employ me at this time for legal reasons. Fortunately my boss is willing to help get me setup as a “self-employed” contractor just so he can hire me back himself. I just need to get setup with WINZ again & go from there. 2017 is going to be rather interesting since I know nothing about being self-employed or being a contractor (yay?).
  • I actually found a boardgame I’ve been wanting to play for a long time – Tales of the Arabian Nights (this review serves as good insight into what the game is like). I love this game, I wish I had it when I was younger. It’s one of the inspirations for the prototype I’ve been working towards, & now that I’ve actually played it I’ve been reconsidering some of my design choices so far. Good thing I’m still in the planning phase.
  • I’ve had my brother come down & stay at my flat in late December through to New Years, though we stayed in Te Anau with my parents for Christmas. Seeing family & the dogs has been nice but it left me in a subdued mood. This feeling seems to have passed though I still find myself stuck with questions.

Continue reading

November Life Update – Cutting Back

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Hello, I know it’s December now but this update is about things that happened last month. Besides, I might end up doing one more update before the end of the year.

It feels like I’ve delayed this update too much so there’s a fair amount of things I want to cover & try to recall.

Quick summary for those with little time:

  • Been thinking about my dreams & if I can ethically justify them in the context of the world at large (something I’ll delve into on a separate post).
  • I’ve had two sets of random guests stay over at my flat briefly. I’ll be talking about the first pair (the second largely kept to themselves).
  • Cancelled my D&D campaign.
  • I’ve taken a different approach to my game projects, & now I’ve found myself actually sticking to a project for once (yay!).
  • I also finally got around to getting most of these questions up in front of my house.

Continue reading

July Life Update – Changes for the Better

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Hello, I’m going to try & make this concise since there’s a lot I want to bring up.

A quick overview for those low on time:

  • Work – my old boss returned & changes are happening + temp contract ending next month. I also made an offer with him; if he wants to keep me.
  • D&D – need to actually put into action the campaign I’ve been planning all this time (yes I’m terrible  😛 ). May keep my word of posting about it next time.
  • Health – taking action to cut down & change my diet. Going dairy-free & reducing sugar intake.
  • Return to Game Dev – I made a simulation demo in Unity based on an old assignment & I have more assignments I’m planning on re-imagining.

Continue reading