Thoughts on Relationships: Part 2 – Conflict


Hello, I feel compelled to get these out of the way so the next parts are coming sooner then anticipated.

When I looked back at the last part today I realized something – I’m probably using difference as an excuse to not try.

There is truth in what I said, but some people do genuinely try to look past these differences. Like myself, people would rather have good relationships then bad ones, so they tend to tolerate the shortcomings of others if they feel it’s worth it.

Maybe I’m just terrible at making a good impression (if we met in person you’d probably just regard me as some silent closed-off dude who struggles with communication). Maybe I just need to acknowledge a simpler truth; that many others may share my sentiments. Maybe it’s a sign I have less tolerance then I’d like to have.

The point is I have to take some ownership of this. I have to acknowledge that how I act & think affects those around me. After all, I’m the common denominator.

So if difference is an excuse, what is the real reason then? Well, it’s quite simple – I’m still fundamentally afraid to share myself with others.

I’m still afraid to let people know who I am. I’m still afraid of people disliking true aspects of myself. I’m still afraid to be hurt.

I’m still afraid to voice an honest opinion in front of strangers & people I know will think differently. Perhaps precisely because my thoughts & opinions tend to differ from theirs, no matter how ‘correct’ I may think myself to be. Continue reading

Closing 2015 + Reflection


Hello, I’m on leave, & I’m back in Te Anau where I’m free to be as lazy as I want to be – until I return home & immediately start moving. Its great to be somewhere I don’t need to do things.

I’m looking forward to the move. Not only will I be in a nicer neighbourhood & in a roomier flat that used to be a convenience store, I’ll be around mostly different people. I’ll go from flatmates that largely favoured music to flatmates that have more academic, gamer, geeky interests. People that are more like me I guess, even though I love music as well. I’ll also be a couple blocks away from the public gardens (yay nature). It’ll be a nice change of scene for me.

This seems to have been the year where I finally started to find my feet. I’ve changed a lot over the past year mentally & personally. Continue reading

5-Minute Daily Confidence Workout


(Note: This post contains an excerpt from the book “Instant Confidence” by Paul McKenna. If the owners, publishers, etc, of this book want this post removed please tell me & I’ll do so.)

Hello, this is the second technique I want to share (this is the last one as I’d like to get back to focusing on game projects & what not). The principle of this is ‘you become what you practice’, & by practising this you’ll become more naturally confident.

You’ll need a mirror & something to write on. I would recommend taking your time to get the hang of this technique before trying to do it in five minutes. There’s also no cool down period so you can do this as often as you please :). Continue reading

November Life Update – Mind In Flux


Hello, I got a couple of things I want to talk about.

Since I started working towards changing my mind to be more confident, my mind has been more chaotic than usual. I’m not entirely sure what’s been going on but the end results are looking good. Continue reading

Success Highlight Movies


(Note: This post contains an excerpt from the book “Instant Confidence” by Paul McKenna. If the owners, publishers, etc, of this book want this post removed please tell me & I’ll do so.)

Hello, I’d like to share a visualization technique from a self-help book I’m rereading at the moment. The idea here is that we are continuously, unconsciously, making “mind movies” that determine our mood & subsequent behaviour. The nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real & imagined experience, so you can use this to help boost your natural confidence & other traits if you think about the right things. Continue reading

Thoughts on Myself – Aspirations


Hello, this is going to be a very personal post (also I just realized this is my 100th post published. I seriously wasn’t planning on having it be about this; oh well).

Lately I’ve been doing some serious thinking about my life & what I want to achieve. Specifically, I’m a dude who wants to make games for a living & do it well. I want to create a variety of high quality games & stories, invent entire worlds for people to explore & play around in, have my own style that differs from the norm, & have my work get people thinking (I regard this last point as a trait of excellent art). I have some tough ambitions.

I’ve been taking a look at the person I am & asking “can I honestly do this?” I think I can (there’s no question that it is possible for me to accomplish them) but not as the person I am right now. There are some crucial attributes getting in the way, & its time I start changing this. Continue reading