Hello, I’m finally on break from design school for two weeks. Now for an update.
I would have written this post sooner except on Sunday my window, goaded by wind gusts, decided to fall out & shatter onto the street. Now my window is cardboarded up & I’m waiting for it to be replaced; no idea when.
But I digress – this post is actually about how making friends became absurdly excruciating.
Returning to polytech has been a godsend to me. I am very much enjoying communication design & feel like I’ve found my element:
I storyboarded an idea I had floating around for a long time (I’ll make a post about this later).
Been learning about various design movements, like Art Nouveau & Russian Constructivism.
Been introduced to drawing tablets & currently have an animation assignment I’ll do over the next two weeks based on an old dream (again, this will be its own post).
I’ve been (more) properly introduced to photography. Didn’t realize how much there was to portraits & how experimental you can be (got really into collage & cut-outs).
Perhaps the most significant aspect is that I seem to actually be making friends. I realize that probably sounds banal but, given my reclusive nature & the way my life has been going, its just… very nice to have this happen, even though I feel my behaviour just made things more difficult.Continue reading
A few days ago I felt compelled to ask my cousin a question. The dialogue went something like this:
Me: “Would you say that you are someone who highly values other people?”
Cousin: “Yeah definitely.”
He pondered this for a moment before giving his answer. His reasons were:
He’s really ingrained with the people he knows.
He uses social interactions as a way of learning about himself.
This last point surprised me; it’s not something I’ve considered. I’m really used to the idea of internally analyzing myself in order to discern ‘who I truly am’ since no one else is capable of giving an accurate holistic picture; only the person living my life can do that.
Yet when I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. We all have our own internal idea of who we are, but until we interact with another person, & have it challenged, that idea is just a fantasy. Other people can make us think about aspects of ourselves we have never considered.
I guess that ties back into what started this whole train of thought – I don’t like what my interactions with people have told me. The messages I tend to receive are:
My default instinct is to wall myself off from others.
People can interact with each other just fine, but they have trouble interacting with me.
People have a lot to offer me, but I don’t have much to offer them.
There’s still a lot more I need to learn & experience.
I’m a good diligent guy, yet I’m no fun to talk to.
Given that context, it seems understandable now why I would prefer to isolation myself sometimes, no matter how bad I may want someone with me. Guess I’m more emotional then I seem to be.Continue reading
Hello, it’s been a while since I posted a life update. So, here we go:
Game Development = Should be pretty self evident if you follow this blog. I’d say it’s been good, though I seem to have suddenly slowed down.
Job Hunting = Pretty crap. My best result so far has been a 3 minute interview with Wendy’s Hamburgers. Most of the available jobs in Dunedin are geared towards managerial or experienced specialist roles, & most “student” jobs are “one-offs”. On top of that, given my history of work related dermatitis, I have to be more careful about what jobs I go for; I don’t want to get a job just to find my hands getting screwed again. I seem to have a lot of factors going against me in this department :P.
Lucid Dreaming = Pretty sweet. My LD count is at 21+, & I seem to be reaching a point where I’m LDing on a fortnightly basis (though, like with the game development, it seems to be slowing down as well).
General Health = I seem to be developing a cold at the moment, which has made my sleeping patterns even worse (as in a keep on finding I wake up closer to 3pm). Fortunately I only seem to get sick about once a year so this should only be a minor set back.
General Happiness = Pretty good but with a main caveat…