Thoughts on Relationships: Part 2 – Conflict

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Hello, I feel compelled to get these out of the way so the next parts are coming sooner then anticipated.

When I looked back at the last part today I realized something – I’m probably using difference as an excuse to not try.

There is truth in what I said, but some people do genuinely try to look past these differences. Like myself, people would rather have good relationships then bad ones, so they tend to tolerate the shortcomings of others if they feel it’s worth it.

Maybe I’m just terrible at making a good impression (if we met in person you’d probably just regard me as some silent closed-off dude who struggles with communication). Maybe I just need to acknowledge a simpler truth; that many others may share my sentiments. Maybe it’s a sign I have less tolerance then I’d like to have.

The point is I have to take some ownership of this. I have to acknowledge that how I act & think affects those around me. After all, I’m the common denominator.


So if difference is an excuse, what is the real reason then? Well, it’s quite simple – I’m still fundamentally afraid to share myself with others.

I’m still afraid to let people know who I am. I’m still afraid of people disliking true aspects of myself. I’m still afraid to be hurt.

I’m still afraid to voice an honest opinion in front of strangers & people I know will think differently. Perhaps precisely because my thoughts & opinions tend to differ from theirs, no matter how ‘correct’ I may think myself to be. Continue reading

Thoughts on Myself – Aspirations

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Hello, this is going to be a very personal post (also I just realized this is my 100th post published. I seriously wasn’t planning on having it be about this; oh well).

Lately I’ve been doing some serious thinking about my life & what I want to achieve. Specifically, I’m a dude who wants to make games for a living & do it well. I want to create a variety of high quality games & stories, invent entire worlds for people to explore & play around in, have my own style that differs from the norm, & have my work get people thinking (I regard this last point as a trait of excellent art). I have some tough ambitions.

I’ve been taking a look at the person I am & asking “can I honestly do this?” I think I can (there’s no question that it is possible for me to accomplish them) but not as the person I am right now. There are some crucial attributes getting in the way, & its time I start changing this. Continue reading