Reflections & Grandma


I’ve got another lucid dream to share. The first LD to feature mirror images of myself, & the first to feature a dead family member.

My grandma passed away in 2012, & for the last decade of her life she suffered from dementia. I don’t want to talk too much about the subject, other than it was like she was no longer herself. Because she had it for so long, I have a hard time remembering what my grandma was like before she got dementia. All I can really remember is from my mother & step father’s wedding back in 2006. While trying to take photos, she would go “say sex” instead of cheese.

Anyway, I feel it affected the way she acted in my dream. Fortunately it wasn’t too overt. I’d say she was closer to what she was before the dementia (well, at least physically). It’s a condition I hope none of you have to deal with.

Here’s the dream:

I stand up in a red bedroom. A flatmate is hanging clothes on the line, inside the bedroom. Through the windows, to what may be the backyard, I see a two year old girl running around with her mother watching over her. I think she’s in her early twenties, same as me. In that moment I spontaneously become lucid.

I try to alter things a bit. I stare at the walls & try to imagine them turning blue, but the bedroom remains red. I tell my flatmate about how this is all a dream, which forces a chuckle from him.

There’s now a large bed piled with pillows of different colours dominating the room (dreams have a way of changing things without you realizing it, even if it should be obvious). I turn to leave the room but stop. “Hey, I saw that! That pillow’s red!”, I say out loud, pointing a pillow that was green before.

I quickly push it aside & head to the hallway. But I stop again when I spot my reflection on the wall. There’s no mirror there, just a wall, & yet I can see myself there, wearing a red turtleneck. Funny, I barely wear turtlenecks, & I don’t think I have any red clothes. I look down at myself & I’m wearing a grey jacket with black pants; my more usual attire. I look back at my reflection & it’s still wearing the turtleneck. Huh, my first encounter with reflections in dreams & they’re not even wearing the right clothes.

My flatmate is now moving down the hallway. I run to him. When I reach him, I look back & I see… me. Not a reflection on a wall, but me as a person. We only stare at each other for a second before he flees down the side hallway. “What the fuck!” I say chasing after him.

I stop as soon as I make the turn. I don’t see my clone. Instead, in another section of the backyard, my family is setting up a big table with plates & cutlery. I see my mum, my cousin, &… I see my grandma.

I approach her. She looks healthy, for someone in her late 80s. She still needs a walking stick to move around though.

My cousin tries to whisper to me about wanting to continue dreamworld stuff; how ironic. I quickly dismiss him.

“Shirley”, I say to her. She hears me, but doesn’t recognize who I am. I try to tell her it’s me but she has a hard time seeing it. It’s like she’s blind. My mum tries to help, but she mistakes some random old man/woman (I can’t tell) for me. I feel myself being pushed towards her & I place my hand on her shoulder. She finally recognizes me & I hug her. Soon I can’t help but start sobbing over her shoulder.

After a moment, I finally let go. We take a seat & start chatting about things (I can’t remember what exactly). My cousin again whispers to me about wanting to do dreamworld stuff. I reply with something like, “well, we’re in a dream right now, so… start worlding.” The dream ends with me trying to remember something about the Chronicles of Narnia, in which I answer, “C. S. Lewis?”

I’m not really sure what to make of my encounter with grandma. When I saw her, I didn’t question if it was actually her or just my projection of her, I just simply wanted to meet her again. When I think back on it, I think it’s probably the best way to go about it. I barely ever dream of dead relatives, so for me it’s a case of just acting in the moment. I wonder how my mum would feel about this dream?

Thank you for reading.


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